Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
