Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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