Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
