problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
