I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
