i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
its liver damage thursday
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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