weddingsv make me drug and hornr
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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