Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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