Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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