Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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