I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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