Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Less talking, more tequila
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
