im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
