so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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