I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
