i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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