first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
