My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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