I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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