Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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