yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
