Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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