Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
