i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
