I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
