whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
