Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.

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(443): View more from Maryland

repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.

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(917): View more from New York City

Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.

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(303): View more from Colorado

STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD

(1-303): View more from Colorado

THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.

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