she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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