the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
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