wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
