i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
