I'm so fucking centered right now
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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