is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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