Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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