he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
