ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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