I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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