i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
