Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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