Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
