Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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