16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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