Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
