Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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