...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
