Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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