just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
