Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
