We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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