miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
